Tottenham Eat Veggies To Plug Leaky Defense

Anyone who read the papers over the summer knew the outcome of this Premier League season.

Derby were to be relegated along with two of your choices out of Fulham, Middlesbrough, Wigan, Sunderland or Birmingham. Manchester United were to pip the title with Liverpool and Chelsea fighting for second.

Dishearteningly to Arsenal fans, Tottenham were to take fourth, claiming England's final Champions League spot and relegating the Gunners to the UEFA Cup if they could beat off teams like Newcastle, Aston Villa, and Manchester City.

That tells you how much the pundits know.

After beating Wigan last weekend Arsenal are now three points clear at the top of the Premier League table with a game in hand against their nearest rivals, Manchester United. Chelsea and Liverpool are in fourth and fifth respectively, both behind Manchester City.

And Tottenham?

They've peaked at fourteenth. After spending much of the early season in the relegation zone, new boss Juande Ramos has brought them within one point of Fulham and Reading. It's not quite the season Spurs fans had envisioned.

The poor Tottenham defense has conceded 25 goals in 14 games, more than any other team in the Premiership other than Reading, Wigan, Middlesbrough, and Derby.

In fact, Tottenham have kept only five clean sheets in 20 games this season, holding ground only against the impressive opposition of Derby, Middlesbrough, Wigan, Blackpool, and Hapoel Tel-Aviv.

Perhaps best of all for Arsenal fans, Spurs kept up their losing streak against our brilliant young Gunners with a 1-3 loss to Arsenal at White Heart Lane.

You would think that the solution to Tottenhams problems would be to sell £16.5 million signing Darren Bent and go buy some defenders, a decent midfielder, and spend the rest on anybody they could pick up off the streets to replace Paul Robinson.

Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy didn't hire Juande Ramos to come up with conventional solutions though, and it seems that the board's trust is about to be repaid.

The former Sevilla manager (who has already had the experience of losing to Arsene Wenger's side at his old club) has come up with a brilliant solution to Tottenham's problems: vegetables.

That's right. Spurs will be implementing the newest form of team bonding, the diet.

Antonio Escribano has been hired by Tottenham to help enforce the diet, which is meant to improve the player's fitness levels.

I guess the diet isn't too bad of an idea either. I wouldn't mind seeing Tom Huddlestone take up a little less room on the pitch.

So what do you think, is Tottenham a football club or a cheerleading outfit?

Let's All Laugh At Tottenham

Martin Jol, the manager who brought Arsenal's cross-town rivals Tottenham Hotspur to two consecutive fifth place finishes in the Premier League quit today, following a home defeat to Getafe in the UEFA Cup.

Straight from the start, the Dutchman's future was in danger, with Spurs allegedly contacting Sevilla boss Juande Ramos to replace Jol. Tottenham's poor performances did little to alleviate the tension between him and Chairman Daniel Levy.

The club now finds itself in eighteenth place, in the relegation zone along with newly promoted Derby and Bolton Wanderers, another team to have recently sacked a boss. The boys from White Heart Lane have collected a rather pathetic seven points from ten games, continuing a poor run of form following their opening day loss to newly promoted Sunderland.

Tottenham also started off its UEFA Cup campaign on the wrong foot after losing 2-1 to Getafe at White Heart Lane.

However, of all of Tottenham's losses this season (and there have been a fair many) the one which would be most appreciated by Arsenal fans is the 3-1 loss suffered at the hands of our very own London-based team.

For those of you who don't remember the game, I'll give you a quick recap: Gareth Bale scored an early free kick goal after a nasty foul from Gilberto on the edge of the box, bringing the White Heart Lane faithful to their feet. Arsene Wenger's Arsenal side refused to give up of course, and after half time, a Fabregas double and a goal from Emmanuel Adebayor sealed an Arsenal victory.

And here's how the two teams stand now:

Arsenal: 1st in the league, 25 points from 9 games, 12 straight wins
Tottenham: 18th in the league, 7 points from 10 games, winless for 7 games

I'd have to say that the irony in the situation is bordering on hysterical. So-called football pundits proclaimed the downfall of the big four in British football, claiming that Tottenham would take the final Champions League spot out from the noses of last season's underachieving Gunners. Arsene Wenger was supposed to be the first coach to leave a club in the Premier League.

Nope. Arsene Wenger is firmly at the helm of an Arsenal team that is first in both the Premier League and the Champions League group. Spurs on the other hand are manager-less and in the relegation zone.

So, if you're having a bad day, have a little laugh at the expense of Tottenham.