Sunday, November 25, 2007

Tottenham Eat Veggies To Plug Leaky Defense

Anyone who read the papers over the summer knew the outcome of this Premier League season.

Derby were to be relegated along with two of your choices out of Fulham, Middlesbrough, Wigan, Sunderland or Birmingham. Manchester United were to pip the title with Liverpool and Chelsea fighting for second.

Dishearteningly to Arsenal fans, Tottenham were to take fourth, claiming England's final Champions League spot and relegating the Gunners to the UEFA Cup if they could beat off teams like Newcastle, Aston Villa, and Manchester City.

That tells you how much the pundits know.

After beating Wigan last weekend Arsenal are now three points clear at the top of the Premier League table with a game in hand against their nearest rivals, Manchester United. Chelsea and Liverpool are in fourth and fifth respectively, both behind Manchester City.

And Tottenham?

They've peaked at fourteenth. After spending much of the early season in the relegation zone, new boss Juande Ramos has brought them within one point of Fulham and Reading. It's not quite the season Spurs fans had envisioned.

The poor Tottenham defense has conceded 25 goals in 14 games, more than any other team in the Premiership other than Reading, Wigan, Middlesbrough, and Derby.

In fact, Tottenham have kept only five clean sheets in 20 games this season, holding ground only against the impressive opposition of Derby, Middlesbrough, Wigan, Blackpool, and Hapoel Tel-Aviv.

Perhaps best of all for Arsenal fans, Spurs kept up their losing streak against our brilliant young Gunners with a 1-3 loss to Arsenal at White Heart Lane.

You would think that the solution to Tottenhams problems would be to sell £16.5 million signing Darren Bent and go buy some defenders, a decent midfielder, and spend the rest on anybody they could pick up off the streets to replace Paul Robinson.

Spurs Chairman Daniel Levy didn't hire Juande Ramos to come up with conventional solutions though, and it seems that the board's trust is about to be repaid.

The former Sevilla manager (who has already had the experience of losing to Arsene Wenger's side at his old club) has come up with a brilliant solution to Tottenham's problems: vegetables.

That's right. Spurs will be implementing the newest form of team bonding, the diet.

Antonio Escribano has been hired by Tottenham to help enforce the diet, which is meant to improve the player's fitness levels.

I guess the diet isn't too bad of an idea either. I wouldn't mind seeing Tom Huddlestone take up a little less room on the pitch.

So what do you think, is Tottenham a football club or a cheerleading outfit?